I’ll most definitely start with the good news -

I have a nephew!

my new nephew

His name is Ozzie and was born last night at 11:43pm.
8lbs even and 20 inches long
Poor kid is the only male grandchild in the family. No pressure.

The bad news might actually be good news to some of you…

Spot Of T has to go on sabbatical. I have big things brewing and no time to update for now.

If you want to find me I’ll be blogging and designing on two sites:
http://teresalea.net
http://sinclairportfolios.com

Don’t bother clicking either link, neither is up and going yet… but keep an eye out, they will both be masterpieces shortly!

I’ll still be tweeting from @teelea and @sccportfolio

First, if you don’t know why I would put the @ symbol in front of amyinohio - then you need to go sign up on twitter and get with the program.  You can start by following me, @teelea and the portfolio show at my school @SCCportfolio.

Now for the other stuff…

I’ve had multiple requests for some more descriptive info on the Master Cleanse.  Until now, I was handing the information out via email because it is a little, shall we say, not fit for blogging IMO.

As I tell my boyfriend, “There are certain things you should just never see me do.” - I feel the same closeness towards you, my dear readers.  There are just certain things I would never tell you about - some of the details in this information would be one of them.

So, the following is the same email I sent to my friends - whom I love.   Enjoy and read at your own risk!

Ingredients
Lemons – preferably organic lemons

• You will need approx 4 per day and if you are buying organic I would only buy 3-4 days worth at a time.  If you are buying regular, I still wouldn’t buy more than about 6 days worth at a time.
• If the lemons are small you could need more

Maple Syrup – and not aunt jemima

• You need the REAL stuff and it’s not cheap
• You will be using 3/4c to 1c of this per day (I went thru 3 good size bottles during my cleanse)
• You are supposed to use Grade B syrup, but I could never find any so I used Grade A (which they say is the next best alternative.

• If you are really on a budget you can use Agala (pure cane syrup) but I wouldn’t recommend it.  I used it at first and it is pretty nasty.

Cayenne Pepper – preferably organic

• One of the tiny containers is plenty since you only use this in small amounts

PURIFIED WATER

• this is a must, tap water is FULL of chemicals and the cleanse will not cleanse anything unless you use   real purified water.

What to buy

• 3 1 liter Aquafina bottles to reuse every day (you may need more if you choose to drink more)
• 3-4 of the big square jugs of water you can get at any store
• 2 kinds of ORGANIC PURE HERBAL DECAF TEA  - buy one just for enjoying (any type you prefer as long as it is 100% herbal and caffeine free) and one that is a laxative tea.  I’ve actually seen the laxative tea I used in the organic section of Kroger   (Yogi  Tea)
• Sea Salt – organic or all natural sea salt which you will use every morning for a salt water flush (and it isn’t fun)

And that’s it!   All the ingredients for the next 10 days of food!!

How to start

The night before you start the cleanse you drink your laxative tea.  In the morning you take your first salt water flush.  A salt water flush consists of 1 liter of water and 1 tablespoon of sea salt mixed together and chugged in one sitting.

BE WARNED when you drink this you need to be home, near a bathroom for approximately TWO HOURS.  If this is not possible for you to do in the mornings, then do it each evening instead.

I found it easier to do it in the mornings, I thought the salt water was hard to drink in the evenings, but you may have different results.  Regardless, once you have your first movement, the last one will come about an hour later.  This is just an internal enema.

The mixture for the lemonade:

1 liter of water

1/3c FRESH squeezed lemon juice (typically the juice of two lemons)

1/3c Maple syrup

1/8teaspoon cayenne pepper

YOU MUST DRINK AT LEAST TWO OF THESE A DAY and at least one liter of water along with it!!  So prepare two when you make them.  I would advise adding the cayenne right before you start drinking it – because the longer it sets, the hotter it gets.

You can have as much of the lemonade, water and herbal tea that you want.  Every night you should drink the laxative tea and every morning you should do the SWF.

You can choose not to do the SWF’s – but if you do this, you have to do the laxative tea in the mornings and evenings instead.  The downside to this is that you do not know when your bowel movements will come, w hen you do the SWF they are very predictable.

Coming off the cleanse

It is highly suggested that you drink an all liquid diet the following 2 days after the cleanse.  So don’t think this is over in 10 days.  For the first two days after you should be drinking fresh squeezed OJ and vegetable broths - Days 3 and 4 after you should be eating small amounts of fruits and veggies only.  From there on you can introduce foods as you feel comfortable, but be cautious, especially with meats.

Although these are the instructions for doing the cleanse, there is a lot more to it than losing weight – not eating for 14 days is no easy feat and it takes more motivation that losing a few pounds.  I would highly recommend you reading the book The Complete Master Cleanse: A Step-by-Step Guide to Maximizing the Benefits of The Lemonade Diet.  There are also LOTS of resources online if you search for the master cleanse.
I ordered the book the day before I started the cleanse and got it on the 3rd day.  I’m so glad I did.  It really helps you understand what your body is going through and I don’t think I could have done the cleanse without it.
Good luck!  Let me know how you do.

Were on a whole, pretty uneventful.  I was hoping to have some sort of epiphany that never seemed to happen.  It was more of a “Oh, it’s the 8th day, almost done now, la ti da” kind of attitude.

On day 10 I was excited to want to eat without feeling guilty about wanting it.  I had planned from the beginning to start coming off the cleanse on day 10 because of prior commitments.

I struggled the whole way, but in the end I felt rejuvenated and strong.  I had also lost 13 lbs - which was awesome as well.

The weird part?  I want to go back on it.  There is something about the ease of it, the forethought, the predictability -  that made it all so simple.  It was a welcomed change in my chaotic world.

Now back to regularly scheduled programming.

Day 5 was indeed, easy.  If you compare it to the days prior and days to follow.  I had no cravings or hunger, I wasn’t tired or cold.  I was clear headed, felt strong and light, no headaches and was very productive that day.

Unfortunately, day 5 was over much too quickly.

Day 6 I woke up hungry.  Not wanting food, hungry.  I went through my SWF as quickly as I could so that I could get to my drink - drank the lemonade while I worked out instead of water.  I felt better, but I continued to feel hungry throughout the day.  I could have had all my lemonade gone by around 2-3 pm, and it is usually a chore to have it gone by 6pm.  I purposely saved a big gulp for when I would have to make my girls dinner.  I licked my fingers more than once while making them dinner, no food on them, just flavor - it was pathetic.  By the end of the night I had given in and ate 4 pieces of their popcorn.  It was delicious, but made my mouth feel weird.

I woke up this morning and instead of feeling hungry, I feel deprived.  At this point I feel as if I am only continuing because I have come this far.  What’s the point of getting to day 7 and not going to day 10?  There is no accomplishment in that.  I feel I deserve some accomplishment by now - so no quitting for me - despite certain people’s less than encouraging words.`

My work and school are closed today, which make this a tad bit harder - but I’m always up for a challenge!  Come on day 7!

Day 2 - was pretty rosey.  I felt good, I wasn’t hungry but I did get a tinge of a headache near the end of the day.  Nothing worth puking over though.  I also started to notice some side effects:

• being cold - I tend to be a pretty warm blooded person, one of those people who likes the house at 68 degrees in the winter because I don’t get cold easily.  But now, I’m going to bed fully clothed and bundled under blankets and wearing layers during the day (more than usual).

• exhaustion - I am so fraking tired.  I don’t attribute this to lack of food since I am not hungry.  I’m pretty sure that if my body needed something it knew it could get from food right now, it would let me know.   I think it’s because my body is used to being kept alert and awake by artificial means and it is trying to learn to do so without those means.  But then again, maybe the lemonade is brainwashing me to think like a hippie.  Who knows.

Day 3 - HOLY FRAK  it’s hard not to eat on a weekend.  Everything you do revolves around food.  I should spend my weekends covered in my studies, but alas, I have a family and friends that always seem to need my attention (damn kids) so I do spend a lot of my weekends moving about doing things with a number of people.  Saturday morning my boyfriend is over, so I make him breakfast and my kids breakfast.  After tae kwon do for Anna the girls are “starving” so I stop and grab them some lunch on the way to bowling with my friend Heather.  Heather and her kids are, of course, “starving” and order a pizza, nachos and a pitcher of soda at the bowling alley.  I go to visit my mom and dad after bowling thank goodness they aren’t “starving”!!  But, my mom decides its a good time to start cleaning off the DVR - of course the DVR is filled with food network shows…

Then I had to go grocery shopping.  This didn’t bother me too much since I had my list planned and only bought what was on the list - food for my kids and more supplies for my cleanse.  Of course by the time we got thru shopping, it was dinner time for my boyfriend.  I was priviledged enough to sit and drink my herbal tea while they grilled hamburgers and made beef nachos.

By the end of Day 3 I wanted to eat so bad.  I actually had what I was going to eat planned out, not actually to eat it, but planning it made me feel better.  I wasn’t hungry - I wanted TO EAT.  There is a difference, and I think that is one of the major points of the cleanse - to be able to identify the difference between hunger and wanting to eat.

Alas, I did not eat.  Although, I did suck on an almond, one almond, and then proceed to chew it and swallow it.  It was an awesome almond.

Day 4 - I’m still tired.  My body is feeling stronger, my chills are diminishing, I’m still not hungry.  I had a lot to do on this day, staying busy helps as long as you have your drink prepared to go with you.  By about 4pm I got a bit grouchy - after a few deep breaths I felt much better.  5pm began family night, a fun filled evening full of food.  Once again, I armed myself with my herbal tea and watched the food be prepared and consumed.

The surprise: it didn’t bother me one bit.

I finished my tea then went downstairs to finish up my homework to get my kids ready for bed.  I do feel ready to sleep, but the exhaustion is still fading.

Before bed I read thru some chapters of the master cleanse book for a little encouragement.

Today it’s back to the grind of work and school, so I am anticipating an easy day.  When I woke up I felt good, awake and fulfilled.  I had a great yoga session (although it wasn’t long enough) and I’m ready for my day 5.  They say today or tomorrow the cleanse becomes easy… we will see what the definition of “easy” is shortly.

It is official - I have completely lost my mind.

Somehow I thought it would be a good idea to quit eating for 10 days.  OK, so maybe it wasn’t such a crazy idea considering how sick I have been the past two months.

I started to do some research on diets that could possibly make me feel better.  By “diets” I don’t mean the kind to help you lose weight, I mean the true definition of the word - a certain selection of foods.  The first things to pop up were all raw diets.  Lucky me, I know an expert on the subject and immediately contacted her.

My cousin, Joy, is a minister of the Light (ya I love her, but idkwtf that is either) - she has eaten an all raw diet for many years now and sings it’s praises.  So, I consulted Joy and more of the internets and they both agreed.  A master cleanse was the way to go.

I had fully intended on delaying this course of action as long as possible using my move as a good excuse not to do it (ya I’m moving again, the burbs couldn’t handle me).  But alas, my body had other plans.

So Wednesday night I went out and bought the ingredients that would be my sustenance for the next 10 days:

Water - a big square thing of it (what are those things called anyhow?) and 3 - 1 liter bottles

Lemons - I bought 9 cause they were 3 for a buck.  I should have bought more

Syrup - you need the all natural maple syrup, not Aunt Jemima. (I actually bought agala? since it was so much cheaper)

Cayenne Pepper - I’m still trying to find someone that says I can skip this part.

Day 1 -

SUCCCKKKKEEEDDD - no lie.  Don’t listen to all these people that say the adrenaline of starting something new gets you through the day.  Do you know how long its been since your body went without food??  Do you  know what’s in that food?? DRUGS.  Caffeine, all sorts of chemicals - your body has taught itself to function on these drugs.

I would highly suggest that if you try this to do it on a day when you can nap.  I felt desperately exhausted yesterday morning by 9am.  Had I taken a nap then (which as my friend Jess knows I was conjuring up a plan to leave school and skip over to the bf’s house for a nap) I wouldn’t have had issues the rest of the day.  But  no, I decided to be responsible.  Bad idea.

By 10am the headache started to kick in.  You know, the annoying little headache you get when you don’t get your morning coffee?  So I knew it was from the caffeine withdrawal.  What I didn’ t know is that it was going to get worse.

The headache continued and by 6pm I was almost non functional.  I shouldn’t have been driving, but I picked up my chickens, some dinner for them and went home - immediately landing on my bed and not moving till 5am the next morning.  I woke up occasionally to the sound of two little girls laughing and made sure they got in bed - but thank goodness my kids don’t need me to do things like wipe asses, brush teeth and put on jammies.

Anyhow, this morning is much better.  I still don’t feel hungry, the headache is gone.  I came prepared for my 10 hour day at work with extra water and all herbal decaf green tea (which is allowed).

One thing I can’t deal with is the bad breath - so I will continue to chew half pieces of gum to keep myself from puking.

Tomorrow day 2 - and if you’re lucky, I’ll tell you about my SWF (and no, thats not a small web file or single white female.)

To post all the things I’ve been meaning to post this year.  I easily have a backlog of about 30ish posts just rattling around in my head.  Just think of all the space I’ll leave for more meaningful babble when I finally get them out.

I will list a few of the topics here as to help myself remember:

• my St. Louis trip
• Firecracker Press (this was on the St. Louis trip, but needs it’s own post)
• a trackback post rebutting some comments another blog made about “being skinny” (ya that’ll be a gem - we all know how much I <3 skinny bitches)
• the city vs. the suburbs
• random thoughts I’ve been keeping a list of

And one I already posted, but on another blog

I </3 IE

That’s right, I was published on another blog, and not just any blog - the most awesomest blog ever made.  At some point in my life I need to know if The Hater is hot.

PS: right now I’m listening to a cd my 9 year old got for Christmas - I’m totally getting old.

PSS: I’m updating the music link on the site today for those of you who dig my tunes. (the jimmy eat world is especially good)

PSSS: web geeks: why is the script over here (on the right) that displays my categories auto opening when I have it set to be closed on page load?

My BFF sent me this link the other day.  She posted it on her blog, so I thought I would amend it for the rest of us and post it on mine.

It makes me giggle on the inside and I think my boyfriend will giggle too…

I <3 assholes

Bad Day

Good Day

*this is the effect of sitting in front of a computer all day

I have decided (in my old age) that Thanksgiving is the superior holiday to Christmas.  Think about it, Thanksgiving is all the things Christmas is - without the presents.  And what are presents really?  Other than a pain in my ass and my pocketbook??

But T day - what isn’t there to like about it??

• awesome food
• family
• relaxation
• dessert
• full bellies
• games
• wine
• naps
• more wine
• and it’s T day for goodness sake

No running around stressed over what gift you are gonna get who and how you will get it, no debt, waiting in lines, juggling time - just togetherness - and rocky road brownies.

I thought about doing the dorky thing and coming up with a list of things I am thankful for - but I would ultimately forget things (see wine twice on above list).  So instead, I’d like to share the one thing that made me the most happy over the past 24 hours.

I am most happy that I spawned a child that wrote me a letter like this:

It is a  beautiful thing.

And so are these

my chicks