My BFF sent me this link the other day.  She posted it on her blog, so I thought I would amend it for the rest of us and post it on mine.

It makes me giggle on the inside and I think my boyfriend will giggle too…

I <3 assholes

Bad Day

Good Day

*this is the effect of sitting in front of a computer all day

One of my favorite quotes is from George Carlin

…if there is a god it has to be a man, no woman could or would fuck things up like this…

It always makes me giggle.  This morning I was reminded of two other reasons there is no way god could be a woman:

1.  periods

2.  cellulite

These are the types of things my brain wanders to early in the mornings - scary, I know.

My mom sent me this via email this morning.  What’s really scary is that my mom finally figured out how to send an email.

haunted houses

What’s even scarier?  This excerpt from an article in the New York Times by Judith Warner:

Rick Davis, who is John McCain’s campaign manager, said a friend had told him how best to choose a running mate: “You get a frame of Time magazine, and you put the pictures of the people in that frame. You look at who fits that frame best — that’s your V.P.”

See that ^?  That’s me being speechless.

You know Halloween is close when this pops up in your inbox -

Oh the tricks it makes me think of…

Suggestions?

When I started my new job back in June and walked down the sea of cubicles for the first time - I remember seeing these beautiful, red,  plastic water bottles on every one’s desks.

I remember wishing I had a beautiful red, plastic water bottle.

Every day I would come to work and catch glances of the shiny red from the openings of cubicles that weren’t mine.  Every day I would wonder where the molded plastic  had come from and what the owner had to do to receive said gem.

After awhile I had become used to the idea that I was the only one with out the thirst quenching device.  As I walked to my desk Thursday, I noticed the new admins ruby glimmering from the edge of her desk and made my way back to the last row and down to my cubicle.  When I pulled out my chair - there it was so unassuming in it’s thin plastic sack that kept it from touching all of its twins during shipping so that it would be fresh and new when it arrived in my chair.

The holy grail if you will…

I guess my first review on Wednesday went rather well after all….

HOLLER!

I hope you brought your hard hat.

I feel all backed up…

I have this “thing” about sunglasses. I never buy expensive ones… and by not expensive, I mean under $10. They always seem to get ruined, somehow, some way. I would go through, at least, 10 pair a year, so why spend a lot on them?

Then, the weirdest thing happened. I went to Vegas to play in the WSOP, stopped in a little shop in the RIO right after I busted out, and bought these $5 Gucci fakes. These sunglasses broke my curse, and began my “Grand Good Run for Sunglasses”. I held onto them for two years, along with a pair of polarized glasses I found at the Dollar General store for $3.

For some reason, I can never let a good thing lie, and I had to go and buy cute sunglasses off of Overstock.com this year. They still weren’t expensive, about $20 a pair, but they were name brand glasses that I got a deal on.

What happens?

I lose my great Gucci fakes from Vegas.

I run over the new brown pair with my car, the first day I wore them.

The new black pair, I stepped on while I was at work.

The Dollar General polarized glasses? I set down next to my curling iron that just happened to be on. I still wore them that day, and then left them at someones house.

And my faithful $2 back up from Target? Crushed in my overnight bag.

This is all in a matter of 2 weeks.

What does this all mean? I have no fucking clue. What I do know is that I got my dream job this week. I was chosen to take a co-op position with THE MAN as a Web Designer.

A WEB DESIGNER. WHO KNEW.

Is this the return of the T? What will happen on these sites? Will she embed porn where no one can see? Will she have AIM access? Do they block FTP? Will the forum be blacklisted? Will she start blogging again? Has she lost her awesome sense of WIT?

So many questions, and only one way to find out. HOLLER.

PS: I put the good stuff at the end, cause only the people that love me will actually read all that crap to get to the good stuff! You know who you are, and thanks for always being there. (See, give me a job and I turn into a fraking sap…)

Hell, I miss me, so y’all must be out of your minds!!!

You know what I <3? height="355" width="425">

I also found this, evidently at some point in my life I wanted my body to be blushy and shimmery. And then, on top of that, figured I’d want it to be blushy and shimmery again at some point, and held onto it. Good thinkin’ me!!

Now, I just need to find someone that wants to see me blushy and shimmery. I’m taking applications.

PS: new song again at top, listen to it soon, cause I already found something to replace it with