OK, I have something to admit. I consider myself a somewhat funny, sarcastic, humorous etc person. I mean, I don’t think I’m a comedian by far, but I do think I can find the humor in daily life and I don’t fall in to the deep sarchasm too often. But for the most part, I don’t get comics. There I said it, comic strips typically just go “whoosh” over my purdy little head.

For instance, The Dilbert Comic. I read Scott Adams blog, I enjoy it. In fact, you can find it over there in my links as one of my favorite blogs. But the actual comic… whoosh. Now, every now and then I actually get one, and instead of thinking it’s funny I’m too caught up with the fact that I actually understood it!

But then there are gems like these that make me say:

Khanlady: HAHAHA
Khanlady: thats my kind of comic

I got that from She Z, the queen of comics. But then she has a degree in Mechanical Engineering. Maybe that’s a prerequisite or something.

So, I drove to ILL this weekend for Sheila’s birthday. She was helping to organize a Super Bowl Poker Tournament for a guy who owns a restaurant/bar that has one every year. There are a lot of details I don’t have the time to get into now, but what you need to know is that I came in 2nd to a guy who was so drunk, he couldn’t put his own chips in the pot. That’s right, he had a helper. I made $410 dollaz, $250 of which I’ve already spent on a plane ticket to VEGAS on JUNE 7th. Jealous?

I will, despite my time constraints right now, tell you the story that goes along with the title of my post.

I can handle major douchebaggery in poker. In fact, I prefer if I’m at a table of DB’s. I play a patient game and can usually take advantage of the DB’s. Two seats to my left, we have the table douche. He will call any all-in, despite his chip stack, with any two suited cards… or any face card for that matter.

I saw him call an all-in on a board of AJ9 with J6 off suit, to a guy that raised pre-flop. The raiser/all-inner had AQ and my DB friend hit a 6 on the river. The all-in call left him with one chip.

Or you could ask my good friend Zerbet who pushed all in with ATo and was called by DB’s 67c. I folded AJs this hand and the board read AJJxx. Zerb won the pot and doubled up. NH z.

Anyhow back to the story. An utg raiser decides to throw in a raise with the blinds at 200/400 and he makes it 1000 to go. The DB says, “Hey you can’t do that, your raise has to be at least double the big blind”. Myself and a few others at the table, but mainly me (let’s face it I have a big mouth), chimed in telling him that the total of his raise had to be at least 2x the bb not the raise itself. The DB was unhappy that a WOMAN was telling him he was wrong and said “I’d like to get a ruling on that”. So I holler across the room to Sheila explaining the situation and she agrees that I am right.

“Happy douchebag?”

Might sound like a silly thing, but I swear EVERY live table I sit at there is at least ONE middle aged man that can’t stand the fact that a woman is sitting at the table with them. They pick on how I stack my chips and place my bets. Tell me when it’s my blind or turn.

And to all you old dumb asses that don’t understand the fact that women are smarter than you (even younger ones) I say:

STFU

That title works in plural as well… damn the men! But vv/e that’s another post…

This post has a purpose, to get all the non-poker players that read my blog to click this link and join. Ahh yes, you are asking “WHAT? WHY?”. And as always I shall give you answers.

As to the “what?” it is the PPA- Poker Players Alliance. Since that pry just confuses you more, here is what the PPA does:

The Poker Players Alliance is a nonprofit membership organization comprised of poker players and enthusiasts from around the United States who have joined together to speak with one voice to promote the game, ensure its integrity, and, most importantly, to protect poker players’ rights.

So why does that involve you if you don’t play poker? Well, what do you play? How would you like the government telling you that you can’t play the game you enjoy in your own home? What if you pay for a subscription to pogo.com where you can play games like canasta, bridge and cribbage and win real money in a lottery type drawing, and because the government banned banks sending your monthly payment to “GAMING SITES” you can’t play anymore? So, if you are a fan of your personal rights and choices, I’d say join.

A friend of mine wrote a letter to Bill Frist, one of the authors of a recent earmark on a the Security Port Act that was signed into law at the end of last year. The earmark made it illegal for banks to do transactions with “gambling” sites. Altho it had a carve out for lotteries and horse betting, it did NOT have a carve out for poker. Here’s what Frist had to say in his reply:

I have heard from many concerned citizens regarding passage of the
Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act. While I understand the
conerns of the numerous individuals that participate in on-line gaming,
the bottom line is simple: Internet gambling is illegal. Gambling is a
serious addiction that undermines the family, dashes dreams, and frays the
fabric of society. Congress had grappled with this issue for 10 years,
and during that time the on-line gaming industry has exploded. Although
it is impossible to monitor every on-line gambler or regulate offshore
gambling, steps can be taken to police the financial institutions that
disregard our laws.

That’s right, it is crumbling the very fabric of our society! Not greed, or consumption, not ignorance BUT FUCKING POKER! Our private citizens don’t have the capacity to decide what to spend their disposable income on, so we will decide for them.

I realize poker is hardly the most important issue in this country right now, but the fact of the matter is when we start letting our government make laws about our passtimes, it’s only going downhill from there.

I’ll say it again, if you are not using coupon codes then you’re a dummy.

See, straight to the point.

They even have 10% off, no minimum at (my favorite store) TARGET deals! And that’s pronounced in a French accent for those of you out of the loopage. *Tarjay*

But vv/e keep payin full price, it’s not my money.

It is a fantasy MMA (mixed martial arts) team. You can win $500 and it is free to play!

I don’t know much about the sport myself, but some of you freaks might. I checked out the site and it looks like it works the same way as any fantasy team. You check out the fights and pick a winner etc. You can even make sidebets with fantasy tokens with other people in the pool.

Consider it my tip o the day.

Who knew. Ok, I did know, but I didn’t know about this particular site where they have free technology book downloads.

Seriously, they have everything from Java, C++, and Perl to Linux and Microsoft. Not bad for freeage. Also, I didn’t have to log in or register or anything. I checked out some Java info and it just brought up links and a .pdf file.

Not bad I say, not bad a tall. (<- on purpose plz read appropriately).

HMMMM…

I found a photography blog called photocritic.org- DIY photography weblog today on my ppp site, and it’s actually a cool site. He gives a lot of tips for normal every day folks. For instance how to best photograph fireworks, and creative ways to crop photos etc. Both of these articles I found very interesting and useful, especially the fireworks one.

He even has a photoshop tutorial section with some simple techniques for beginners like me! I saw a post abou CS3 coming out sometime too. The photoshop tutorial is very basic and easy to understand, so not a bad place to get a feel for the program if you’ve never used it.

Check it.

OR FlickerFlucker - get your head out of the gutter.

“FLUCK!” is what I yell when I realize I just missed an episode of CSI. And “FLICK!” is usually what you will hear out of me while I’m watching Law and Order:CI on USA late at night to wind down and relax, and I actually get to see an episode that ISN’T a rerun, in fact it is a very good episode, but when it ends it has the “… to be continued” and when the next episode of CI starts immediately after IT ISN’T THE CONTINUED EPISODE! Ya, I don’t know what’s up with that either, I think the programmers are out to get me.

But my troubles could be over with this blog I found… FlickerFlucker - Dedicated source for all your top US tv shows.. You can search and download all your favorite shows by episode. Check it out, they may have yours.

Or you can be like me and go just cause they have a cool name. I’m just to easy really.

The girls and I have a daily routine. When they get home from school, we got thru their homework folders and start their homework. Their folders include homework, but also notes to parents and graded work. Most of the time this is a drag, especially with Anna’s teacher. I’ll give give you a “for instance” instead of trying to explain why this woman gets on my last nerve.
Last Friday we got a note home saying the 100th day of school was approaching on January 19th (last Friday being January 5th) and that they needed parents to bring in certain items and gave us a list to choose from. So, as usual I put the list on the fridge for the next time I go shopping. Yesterday (Monday for all you calendar challenged, or the following school day after the original letter) I got a hand written note from Anna’s teacher saying I needed to bring in Orange Washable Paint. Or in other words “F the list bitch, quit being lazy and bring in the paint”. So I wrote back on the same note “OK I’ll get it to you Friday”. Again for the calendar challenged, this would be the 12th of January, SEVEN full days prior to the 100th day of school. Today Anna came home with the very same note in hand saying “Ms. Sharpe said you need to get this now!”. VV/E ho. This is a very regular thing.

Anyhow, the whole point of this post is that every week or so I get a surprise. Poetry written by a 7 yr old. The very best 7 yr old IN THE WORLD.

And it goes a little something like this…

If I were a rabbit I would hear loud noises when they talked loud.
I would not hop away.
I would be nice.
I would eat anything they gave me.
I would eat lots of vegebles.
I would see a lot of children.
I would like to be peted.
I would want lots of water.
I would stay in my cage and not try to get out.
I would be smooth and soft.
I would be sweet.

THE END

Or sometimes I get a little rhyming action…

A snow poem:

I like it when it snows.
When it plows so fast.
It just goes on past.
So I just like snow.
It must just snow each day.
It goes way to way.
I sit down to make a snow angel.
My sister just runs around like a clown.
When we make a snow man we roll the snow down.
We pull a sled in the snow up the hill.
We had some hot co-co when we came in.
We had a cold.
And we sold a car.
We had a sand box but threw it away.
We saw a fox in the leaves.

I love it.

Here are some pics of the family, for the family. But, even if you’re not family, you are welcome to have a look!!

Christmas Eve Pictures

Christmas Day Pictures

We have had a great day despite the fact that just about everyone, Joe, Maya, Mom, Dave and myself, have sick stomach’s today. Poor Maya woke up and headed straight to the trashcan and stuck her head in! What a way to spend Christmas! When I said so to her she replied.”Ya, I think it’s because I made fun of Anna”. My little buddhist.

For our present to the girls this year I made their toy room into a school room. With a little work and very little money, (because we got the tables , boards etc from the school basement) my girls have been in heaven all day! One of their favorite things to do is to play teacher and pretend to do wall cards. Here is a video of when they opened the toy room.

So that’s about it. I’m fixing a Turkey Dinner that no one is coming over to eat, and the one’s that are here to eat it, pry won’t eat much of it. Leftover’s at my house tomorrow, if anyone can make it in time!!